...as if anyone is really listening
Adventures in internet hook-ups!or:
'A man's hard cock leaves only a limited blood supply left to oxygenate his brain.'Yeah, I probably spend too much of my time online on hook up sites. Like many a faggot I'm logged in while I work, half paying attention until someone bites. It's like fishing, once in a while you'll find a few fun and interesting guys. And if you're lucky you'll hook a
real sexual exhibitionist. I think everyone knows that Bruno and I think variety is the spice of life. I get it that most guys are probably freaked out that they've been hit up by two porn 'stars'. What to do with that? Be that as it may, there are a few oddities that I've encountered recently that just don't make sense to me... leaving me with the question—
is it me? 
Monogamous CouplesMake no mistake: I am talking about
Monogamous Couples with profiles on hook-ups sites. Couples who only fuck each other. I am not referring to couples who hook-up together or separately.
Listen to this and see if it makes sense to you...
Their profiles are often filled with naked pictures of one or both boyfriends. If its just one guy naked– usually the hotter one, it can really be misleading. Misleading that its a couple. But when its both boyfriends whipping out hard cock- its
totally misleading, misleading that this is a 'monogamous couple' and otherwise disinterested in sex outside the sacred circle. Hey, I've got nothing against monogamous couples. I've even been half of that equation before. It's just...
well, did I mention
this is a hook up site?
"Hi we're a couple and we're here on this sex site together, naked, but we don't play. Here's a picture of my asshole. And... here's my hard cock. Anyway that's all. I know what you are thinking but
do not hit us up. We're totally serious! Despite what it looks like, we're
just looking!
What's up with that?! First off you're not just looking— you're clearly showing the goods. Come on! It's a sex site! The just browsing feature is for checking messages. It's not intended as a permanent setting.
'Log on, get off'? — What does that say to you?
I don't know, maybe it's a sign these sex sites have become our gay social network. Do monogamous gay couples feel left out? Party crashers fogging up with window with their sad faces and throbbing erections pressed up against the glass. Horny and repressed? Sometimes, maybe. Smugly superior? hmmm. Maybe its more like they want to know if they
were single, how much attention they'd be getting. If you do hit them up (often by mistake), they
love to read you the riot act!! Either way its a trap.
I responded to one such couple. They, or one of the 'they', sent me a "you're hot" message. I liked what I saw x2 and quickly replied. A week later I got back a rude message... actually they thought
I was rude, and arrogant for writing to them. "Can't you see we are a couple?"
It was one of my
rare moments of speechlessness.
Thank you profile blocking!
That hand that talks back...Looking For Love... but in all the wrong places!You know the type. True romantics at heart. Right out the gate they let you know they are seeking a relationship. Serious commitment only. A few dates are required before sex that immediately leads to commitment. And they all lived happily ever after.
Great! Just one minor problem.
It's a hook up site! Features like 'Looking for sex now' might work against your goal I would imagine. Again can someone help me understand? Dig, if you will this picture:
I was planning a hook up for one of my upcoming travel excursions. I was lured in by such a profile by mistake.
Word of advice, always be sure you read profiles thoroughly before messaging! Anyway, he posted several photos of his slammin' body and a crazy 10.5 inch dick, 10.5 —
when flaccid. Yeah, he peaked my curiosity!
In fact,
all of his photos showcased his anatomical anomaly. Not a single face or torso, just the dick! Maybe because nothing else fit in the frame?? Look here's my huge dick in the bath. Here's my dick after a workout at the gym- feel the burn. Here's the dick enjoying a cold beer... OH! wait he's using the beer can for size reference...
How clever! After getting a really snappy response back from him, I was left confused. So I dug deeper into his profile: There it was! His 4 paragraph diatribe, I mean, description. How could I have missed it!
"If you are into me for my huge cock- think again!" and "I'm more than a piece of meat to be tamed" ...and the rest was about his quest for love, commitment and the pursuit of a soul mate. And ended with, "You must be as hung as I am or I won't respond"...
seriously?OK let's just pretend for second that his potential soul mate is not actually a Tom of Finland cartoon. I'd say, hell yeah man! You deserve to be respected for more than your huge uncut, dare I say delicious, cock. Being a porn star, I can surely empathize with your right to be loved for the person within. Except we have no idea who that might be because, dude,
you're on a hook up site advertising a giant cock!Try
Match.com?? and maybe lead with a nice face photo and a poem. Then again, they don't have a 'must have freakishly huge penis' requirement in their search criteria.
Hmmm, quandry!
Steve Cruz on a soap box.or:
Right now I feel 5'8"!It's safe to assume some of these men are clearly in the wrong place, while others are just wrong in the head! Every once in a while you'll come across a real piece of work. (I should know!) The mistake here is when you fail to recognize the obvious trap and you engage the beast in e-foreplay. I'll even go so far as to suggest that some people seek opportunities just to tell people off. Inviting praise and attention with the intent to smack it down. Superiority? Or someone who deep down is no more than a big dick? LOL!
...whatever.
It's a wild world out there. Keep your eyes open, your wits about you.
And one hand on the block feature at all times! Good luck!SC
Other unexplained mysteries of the internet: Total tops with photos of only their asses. Total bottoms with photos of only their cocks. Straight guys in gay cam chat rooms (I don't mind watching, but do they
have to get so mad when gay guys tell them to show some hole!?)
